Thursday, January 12, 2012

Living With Yogi Bear

Every year Pony Express makes me a birthday cake. It's extremely generous of and time consuming for her, especially when I refuse to pick a cake but specify a work-intensive frosting. I like German Chocolate Cake frosting a lot. A whole lot. Once she's done all that work she carries the cake to wherever we happen to be celebrating in her fancy pie basket that looks basically like this.

We celebrated on Sunday and I have been hoarding the cake ever since. We did a good job on it at my brunch gathering, ate more than half, so I was eating it a piece at a time, knowing that I wanted to finish it before the last slice was more cracker than cake. It was a close brush but last night I was going to eat the last piece and I was sure that at least half of it would still be in prime condition. Also, frosting!

Imagine my surprise when I lifted the hinged lid of the pie basket, looked inside, and discovered a massacre! Someone, and I honestly can't be sure who, had licked almost all the frosting off the last healthy-sized chunk of cake.

Let's go over the crime scene. Time of death had to be during the day yesterday because I had a bite of cake before I left for work. While I was away someone had to have gotten up onto the dining room table, sniffed out the cake, lifted the lid of the basket, licked all the frosting off the top of the cake, flipped the top layer of cake off the bottom layer, licked almost all the frosting off the bottom layer of cake, closed the lid of the basket, gotten off the table, and fallen into a sugar coma. It's possible they flipped the lid up and did the work while the lid rested uncomfortably on the back of his or her neck then slipped out so the lid gently slapped back into place. How did they know not to eat the cake, which was chocolate and therefore toxic?

Actually that last leads me to believe it was the work of the dog. The cats, who are not above grand larceny when the opportunity arises, tend to just start with the first irresistible thing they encounter and eat until they hit bottom. I have had to extract them from cereal box jails and dog food bag paradise. The bungee cord that holds my pantry doors shut isn't an earthquake safety measure. There's no finesse to their work. The dog, though, cracked into a box of holiday cookies and spread them all over the living room but only actually tasted about three things and none of those were the things that could have killed him. He didn't damage the box or the plastic wrap used in the packing. Also, he was pretty amped when I got home last night.

There is never a dull moment when you live with a miniature Yogi Bear. Perhaps I have finally learned not to let him near my pickinick basket.


  1. Oh, THAT'S a shame! I'm so sorry! What a letdown!!

  2. The suspect flipped the top layer off the bottom layer, and didn't eat any cake? I'm thinking neat-freak space alien. (Actually, that does remind me a little of the dog...)

  3. Yet the cats actually look slightly guilty...

  4. Anonymous12:15 AM

    oh dear, the work of an expert ... sigh. i hate losing out on the last treasured and therefore looked-forward-to bite of something perfect. it does suck. and Eddie? Entirely capable I think. Also wondering, don't cats always look slightly guilt if you stare at them long enough? Ours do anyway.

  5. i feel your pain.

    back in November, for Chris's birthday, i got up at 4am and hit the Dunkin' Donuts to get him a couple of his favorite donuts as they were hitting the rack. left them on top of a birthday card back at the house, headed to work. wanted him to think the donut fairy stopped by.

    he let me know the cats had a FANTASTIC breakfast, and could i bring home more?

    little brutes.

  6. Hilarious! He has good taste in cakes. I want a piece!!!!

  7. Luckily there was more frosting since she'd made extra and that was the part I like best, too. But, yes, it's always a super let down to be waiting for something and have it unexpectedly gone. When I lived with a few boys right after college that was my main complaint. They'd eat anything without regard to who might have been saving it.

  8. too damned clever. my cats climb on the counter and lick the butter, but they haven't tried opening cabinets. yet.

  9. If you were here... I would make you a giant cake, German chocolate and give you a fork and a bib and a chair. Happy Birthday Kizz. Sorry I missed it.

  10. Miflohny2:56 PM

    One of those boys always said it was only because you were an only child an not one of 6 that you would ever expect any thing to be where you left it. I always defended you. I guess the boy more like a dog that even he thought :-)