Tell the Zombies to Wait

Our Lisa and I joke a lot about our relative preparedness for the Zombie Apocalypse. She's turned into a super strong athlete these days. She runs and does burpees and kick boxes once a day and twice on Tuesdays. I always tell her that I'll be the innovator and she'll fight off the zombies until my dastardly plans can be carried out.

We're smart, creative people. We know that if or when the apocalypse come it probably won't be zombies. After 9/11 and Katrina and Sandy we know that it'll be a slower moving desolation with more than one issue to solve. The zombies make the conversation more fun, more manageable, not quite so terrifying every day. To be clear, I'm not trying to make light of what's going on here now. There is nothing light about it except the few times we can laugh at ourselves to keep our spirits up enough to move forward. This is one of those times.

I went to a donation drop off site down the street. They were sending cars to The Rockaways today and I wanted to ask directly what they needed before I picked anything up and to help sort items if that was what they needed more. I figured I'd be told about underwear, diapers, baby wipes, socks, gloves, that sort of thing. I'd run out of money before any of that became too heavy. Turns out, though, they needed food. It also turns out that this is my fucking wheelhouse. Years as an after school dance teacher make me one of the best people to figure out what shelf-stable, portable, healthy, protein-rich snacks are best for a largish population. I got juice boxes, peanut butter, crackers, plastic silverware to spread the PB, granola, ziploc bags to share the granola and the crackers, some chocolate because if you don't need chocolate in this kind of disaster when do you, and at the last minute some Ensure shakes because I realized that some of the older folks might be unable to eat a lot of the food that was being handed out and would need a slow build back up to regular nutrition. Sounds great, right?

Then I had to carry all that five blocks back to the donation site. Turns out that when the zombies arrive I am going to be the first to go. One accidental meeting and any self-respecting zombie is going to easily over power me. Our Lisa is in Colorado. I'm never going to make it to the neutral meeting place. I had to stop four times over five blocks and by tomorrow morning I may not be able to lift my arms to wash my hair. I am a disgrace to the entire anti-zombie movement. Also, honestly, a little frightened.

Share your strength training tips in the comments.

If strength training isn't your forte here are some ways anyone can help the Sandy relief effort:

• This is a long shot but Staten Island (and probably all affected areas) need manpower. There is so much physical work to be done and the people who live there are depleted and in shock. Many hands make light work. 

• Here's a roundup from Brokelyn of things you can do from near and far to help.

• There are tons of displaced pets. If you've ever vaguely considered fostering animals now would be the time to test yourself. Here's a start but you can also check in with Rescue Ink and Seer Farms or any other shelter. Even if you can't foster these organizations need a lot of help to keep up with demand and, in the case of Rescue Ink especially, to rebuild.

• Restore Red Hook is dedicated to the recovery of that area of Brooklyn, which is home to a slew of small business and artisans.

• Assemblyman Matthew Titone has set up an Amazon Wish List for his district in Staten Island. People trying to purchase in their own areas and ship to Staten Island have hit some walls with delivery. Amazon has worked this issue out. You'll see a lot of cleaning supplies on there and that's so important as we go forward.

• The schools who took the brunt of the impact on this storm could take a lot of time to fix. Donors Choose is working with teachers to get them what they need.

• The New York Aquarium is in big trouble. We don't know when they'll open again.  
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• Food trucks in NYC are feeding displaced people warm meals. They need money to keep doing that. 

• If you can spread the word about new voting information for people in NY and NJ that would help, too. 

Tomorrow I head back to work. I'll let you know how that goes.