Thursday, December 13, 2012

Sharply Reversed

SpoonerAs I walked the dog in the dark this morning and showered slowly, fighting the sluggishness of an adrenaline crash, I crafted a blog post. I was going to lead with something about walking the dog in the dark and some deep theories about community and then, WHAM I'd say, "What? You thought I wasn't going to talk about THE SHOW?" and oh how we'd laugh. Ha ha ha. And I'd tell you all about how things went.

Then I noticed in my Twitter feed that falnfenix's puppy may be in kidney failure. She's been keeping vigil at the vet and we're still waiting to hear. A specialist visit is being organized. My boss was in today so I was busy. I could maybe have eked out a few lines about the show but I thought I'd wait.

In the middle of the day I saw a message from Our Cindy that said simply, "Treats for Everyone" and knew exactly what she meant. She had to put her precious Hooper dog down today. He was an old dude but it sure seemed as though he was going to rally from a lethargy he'd been falling into. Not to be. I don't know if you've been keeping up with Cindy's blog but this has been an intensely hard year for her. She's a resilient, optimistic, forward thinking human but holy fucked up shit, Batman, this is too goddamned much. I had to take myself to the bathroom stall to cry some sad/angry (sangry?) tears before I could continue. Fucking fuck! I'm so angry that I didn't get to meet Hooper and that's only a tiny flame of anger next to how furious I am that whatever guiding principle is piloting this fucked up life decided that this year was the appropriate time for Hooper's ticket to punched. Fuck that, fuck it in the armpit, with chainsaw.

At that point I decided that I'd write about the show tomorrow. Sorry to leave you hanging but if you know me at all you understand the dog tales take precedence.

Yesterday I did a half day of work from home leaving me with a few hours to collect my tools and my thoughts before it was time to tech the show and perform it. The first order of business was a quick nap. I needed a refresher. Before I could drift off I felt the mattress moving and in short order a little dog was standing in the curve of my torso. He used his bony butt to carve out a perfect spooning space against my body. Once he was satisfied he curled into a tight ball and dropped immediately to sleep.

In honor of Hooper and in support of falnfenix let's all cuddle our pets a little closer tonight, play a little tug of war even though it's no fun for us, let's do what we always do and give treats for everyone, as many treats as their tummies can possibly stand.


  1. so sorry, treats done, and that sucks the big sucky one and then some. big hugs to cindy and falnfenix.

  2. i woke up this morning hoping it was all a really bad dream.

    he came home with us last night for cuddles, and goes back once Chris gets himself awake enough to take him. i have to go to work, so i can't be there all day like we were yesterday. i really hope UPenn has a miracle for us. if not, we'll just have to support him as long as he wants to fight.

    my heart hurts. i knew he'd leave us eventually, but at 10 months i wasn't expecting anything like this.

  3. Sangry tears... I like that a lot. I feel as though I've been experiencing that a lot myself and it's the perfect way to describe them.

    Yes, treats for everyone, including the human owners. Grieving is hard, painful work.