Underaggerating

I may have told you that I'm voluntarily doing a round of what amounts to topical chemotherapy on some spots on my face. They are believed to be actinic keratoses (say that 10 times fast) and I'm using 5-Fluorouracil cream, which is the one my insurance would cover. I think the other was Aldara. (Humorous note: I originally spelled that Alderra which brought back a lot of results for Star Wars and Alderaan.)

I knew going in that it was going to rough up my face but after like 3 days with the stuff when there was just a tiny bit of redness I was starting to think it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. I also started to tell myself that the watery eyes and soreness were crap, too. I mean, I asked the dermatologist if it would hurt and he said no. Then on Friday night, exactly a week after starting it, my lip felt tickly after I applied the cream. Quick mirror check shows that I'm bleeding! Not badly but like I cut myself shaving. At that point I did some internet research.

Why didn't I do some of that before I started putting a controlled substance on my face? Oh, you, with your questions. Hush now.

It doesn't say anywhere on the internet that I could find that you should stop using the cream or call your doctor if there's a tiny bit of bleeding. The scaliness is to be expected and I'm pretty sure the seepage is, too. I don't look like any of the bad reaction shots in those links so I'm calling it good until I see the doc on Thursday.

The internet actually made me feel better about the soreness and the eye involvement. Apparently it does hurt some people and we all know I have no tolerance for any kind of pain. Some people also have eye symptoms even without making contact with the eyes. Mine aren't bad, just weird. After looking at all the painful pictures, too, I convinced myself that I was only seeing the destruction because I was looking for it. Then Pony Express came over. I hadn't told her I'd started this yet and she was there to do something else so I didn't mention it. I didn't want to seem like I was attention-seeking. Sitting across the room from me she stops in mid-sentence and says, "Your nose looks...red."

So, ok, I guess it's noticeable. Oopsie!

For some reason until I looked up the information I hadn't fully admitted that what I'm doing is putting poison on my face on purpose. This seems...unwise. Except, well, Fuck Cancer, right? I don't know.

If any of you know, let me know, you know?