Tuesday, September 23, 2014

The Only Time He Doesn't Bark

After a long period of hemming and hawing I subscribed to Barkbox for Ed. I am not being compensated in any way for this post. Honestly, I just want to make the folks at Barkbox laugh.

I knew this was going to happen. It's not worth lying about. I didn't get the subscription as much for Ed as I did for myself. I wanted to be one of the cool kids who gets neat new things for their dog and enriches his life through the discovery of the exact perfect treat or toy. It was to make me look good to...someone. Sure I told anyone who knew Ed it was so I could try out the service in case dog training clients asked me about it but that was just a convenient excuse.

Elvis Can't Read
Under this premise I carried our first box home laboriously on the subway just in case (just in case) Ed would tear into it joyfully like some other dogs plastered all over the internet. I had my camera at the ready when I set the box on the floor.

Elvis & Anna Hatching A Plan
I had to set the camera down briefly so I could open the box a little, just in case the closed box was too hard for him.

Anna Always Runs Point
Finally I opened the packing paper, too. Then I called him over.

Like A Toddler Anna Tastes Everything She Doesn't Yet Understand
Ok, not finally at all. I pulled out a toy and crinkled and squeaked it to beat the band! With all the excitement I could muster I tossed the toy directly in front of my precious precious pumpkin.

The Only Picture Of Ed In This Whole Post
It's still lying right there in the same place today.

Undeterred I moved on to unpacking the treats myself. I squirreled away the Etta Says Rabbit Chew because I know he likes chews and he already had a new one to work on. They take him weeks at a time. I knew that the chances of him tearing into any new treat right away were slim at best. More like a fairy tale. I have found, though, that if I give him a tiny piece and I offer it to him a couple of times he'll usually try it and often learn to love it. The Petsafe Indigo Smokehouse Strips (Bacon Flavor) looked complicated to open so I ripped into these crinkle cut squishy duck treats (Nootie Jerky Burger in BBQ Duck Flavor) and broke off a tiny piece to try on my picky eater. I have since tried to give him a tiny piece in several locations nearly every day for 5 days. He's just not into it. He has actually taken a couple of those tiny pieces into his mouth, chewed once, and spit them back out.

The cats on the other hand...

It's Blurry But You Can See Him Slapping Me
They'd have eaten the whole bag if I'd have let them. Considering what I had to clean out of the litter box the following day I'm glad I didn't give them more. It was sweet to see them loving it so hard. Just not sweet enough to justify a repeat performance.

Anna Doesn't Beg From The Floor Like A Peasant
At that point I packed everything up for the day. Put the treats in the pantry, tossed the 2nd toy on the table and left the box on the floor for the cats to sleep in. It provided hours of close-fitting rest until yesterday when something frightened the dog so he peed on it.

My Precious Baby Girl, Not As Tiny As She Used To Be
Also yesterday, though, I got out the scissors and hacked into those Smokehouse Strips. They are rubbery and, though they seem to be scored for separation, are impossible to break down into smaller pieces without scissors or a knife. I took a whole piece and offered it resignedly to Ed, barely even bending down enough to get to his level. He stretched his long neck up, sniffed once, gently grabbed the hunk of bacon and raced away. This is his MO for only the most coveted things, you run to the couch and eat them there in relative safety from ravenous cats. Sometimes, though, he'll think he likes it and when I go to sit down I'll find the treasure stuck to my pants. A minute later he was back in the kitchen door with a very expectant look on his face. Skeptical, I handed him another bacon hunk and SHAZAM he grabbed it and ran for his safe place. Gigantic win, whew!

Despite the tough customer I brought them Barkbox knocked it out of the park. They found something even this special special snowflake could fall in love with. Thanks you guys! I look forward to next month's adventure...and so do my cats.


  1. Anonymous3:24 PM

    I love this! Every time we think we've got those furry companions figured out . . . well, we don't!
    (Plus--"Barkbox" is really fun to say!)

  2. I keep promising the boys I'll get them the Meow Box. so far all they want are some greenies and maybe some of Winnie's treats. They could give a shit about anything else.

  3. Awesome captions! Also, heh...